There is a lot of baggage that comes with marrying an Arab man.
I really wish I would have kept a notebook with all of the comments I have received over the years.One of the most surprising facts for many Americans I’ve spoken with is the fact that there are Muslim and Christian Arabs, and that Christian Arabs (shock) use Arabic for their services and in fact use the word Allah for God. These are a few of the other assumptions people have had about my husband (not him as a person but him as an Arab man).You can also check out the flip side in my husband’s post on things people say about American wives. He Must/Will/Does Physically abuse you because that’s normal for them.You can insert any of those words at various times in our relationship.This was a comment regularly made by people who heard about our relationship. There are a host of things that there was an expectation I would do but the idea that somehow I was subjugated to serve him was a notion that blew me out of the water.
It was interesting to me that the us vs them mentality always existed in this example. I’ve wrestled with what this assumption meant as a reflection of me and my ability to judge character and remove myself from a bad situation. People have assumed that marrying an Arab man means he will force you to wear “that thing” (a hijab) all the time. I won’t disagree that there are many Arab/Muslim men who would hope that their wives would wear a hijab but there are also men who could care less. He and/or His Family Will Sell You Into The White Slave Trade.
Never mind that most people lumped everyone who is of Arabic descent into the same category and culture. Are there men who are abusive and happen to be Arab? Are there men who are abuse and are of every other nationality in the world? One’s culture does not single them out for behavioral traits. I’ve never been a slave to anyone and I certainly have never been beholden to serve my husband. I couldn’t believe someone actually assumed this and verbalized the idea to me.
I guess it just goes to show how far fetched some people’s ideas can be. This is a very real concern for some people, and I don’t disagree that it’s important to be vigilant.
If this doesn’t sound like a plot straight out of the movies I’m not sure what is. I know this is a real issue but to assume this based on ethnicity is absurd. However, child abductions occur by men (and women) of every race and ethnicity. I’m pretty sure he’s got his hands full with just me.
Being Arabic does not predispose someone to engaging in this type of behavior. Arab Muslim men are permitted to have up to four wives in many countries. In most other countries, including Morocco, the permission of the first wife must be in place before a second marriage can occur, not to mention he must prove he can financially provide for two homes.
That being said, I know my husband would be calling me for backup after about two days of having the kids on his own. If I ever had an inkling this were a remote possibility I would file for divorce.