In the answers to the Common Questions, unless specifically addressing this issue,we assume that there has been both a civil divorce and a Catholic "annulment" (properly called a Decree of Nullity).
Thus, using common language, the absent spouse is properly referred to as "ex" or "former". (2) Try to clearly identify how you two got to this point so that you can work to solve the crises.
If there is no Decree of Nullity, the other person is still a spouse even if common life has ended. Many couples make a sincere effort to get back together, but their core problems have not been addressed.
In a certain sense, the marriage--whether valid or not, salvageable or not--is secondary to your love for and faithfulness to God. Remember: If there's infidelity, addiction or other sinful behavior going on, refuse to let it back into your life and home. It means get help and let your intellect lead, not your emotions (fear, guilt, regret, etc.) (4) .
Money, kids, housing and other practical issues need attention especially during separation.
Stop all unnecessary activity and spending for a few months or longer. Whatever you have to do to stabilize the home, do it on a temporary basis.
Start getting help on any practical issues where you need instruction or counseling.
(5) Psalm 4:8 Catechism: Mary's function as mother of men...
flows forth from the superabundance of merits of Christ (alone), rests on His mediation (to the Father), depends entirely on it, and draws all its power from it. Marriage sometimes becomes a person’s entire identity or their security.
(Lumen Gentium) CCC 970 People are made to bond with each other at various appropriate levels. People cry when their parents die, their best friend moves away, or their co-worker is transferred. Marriage is meant to be the highest level of union between people, uniting husband and wife into “one flesh”. It’s two unique individuals who form an intimate, deeply personal communion that mirrors the loving union of the Persons in the Trinity: they remain separate, but in a sense they also ‘disappear’ into each other at the same time. They merge, meld, and give themselves totally to one another. From that union should come great security, love, peace, and joy. When it’s lost, panic arises, and a person may often fight or flounder to grab hold of a quick substitute. CCC 1607 You may look at others who seem to heal more quickly, or even your ex-spouse who seems to have moved on. Each person is unique and unrepeatable; the way each experiences divorce will be just as unique.
But when spouses separate or civilly divorce after forming emotional, sexual, financial, parental, social, and spiritual bonds—becoming “one”—they do not separate . Our goal is to help you discover the truth of your identity and your security. No one will experience divorce quite the same way you do. You could have risen to the top of the company and retired early, but not now.
No role in marriage (spouse or parent) should ever be the center of your life; that place is reserved for God alone. Most people enter marriage with still-unhealed wounds from their past. It may seem that ALL of life’s golden opportunities have passed you by. And on top of that you are alone to face caring for your children and your aging parents.
When you are willing to begin to put Him at the center of your heart, He will heal you from the inside out. Bible: Gen Catechism: …the first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of the original communion between man and woman. They also bring huge hopes and dreams for the future. As they say, “life sucks and then you die.” The healing of divorce thus requires your willingness to eventually to why you were born in the first place, why God made you, and where you are headed for eternity.
In between all that is an unrealistic view of the world in general that they hope will be disproved as life passes. Too often, our marriage and family has become our “god” and when we lose it we suffer deep and dark, fearful, and frantic insecurities.